What do you guys think?

i have posted many questions about my arranged marriage which have led me to thinking many ways...from running away to actually taking my own life just so i dont have to deal with putting shame on my family and ruining people's lifes....now i have come to the conclsuion that there is no easy way out and for me to get out this marriage it has to come from me and my arranged marriage husband (i'm already married to him) who is madly in love with me.......however i am going to treat him nicley and help him to get a job, learan english and so forth...an then i will tell him how i really feel in a couple of months so he and everyone will think i tried....ill tell him that i am in love with someone else and there can never be a me and him. I told him all this once before but he went off and told my family becasue he got mad at me. so now i feel besides me getting him deported, me running away or doing something stupid i will just tell him the truth and hopefully he understands or learns to let go. this i fear is my only hope.what do you guys think...??